Category Archives: To Home-Make
Arriving in Impruneta
Of course it was sunny when we arrived in Florence. That beautiful afternoon golden sun that melts over the green and dusty hills of Tuscany in the August. It was hot too. 100 degrees in the shade. And although our home here is over one hundred years old and built of stone, and keeps relatively cool, it was still a little sweaty inside.
We were given our first taste of Italian hospitality that first afternoon. A group of six were at our new home to greet us. Along with the real estate agent, there was the landlord’s nephew, the long time caretaker’s daughter and her mother, a lovely woman from Albania, and a man named Marco. They ushered us in to our new home with “the best” gelato in Florence, wine from the region, homemade olive oil from trees in the backyard, and fruit from the trees out front — figs and pears are now in season.
I’ve been eating figs everyday since. One of the fig trees is right next to where I park the car, and I get a treat every time I go on a trip.
That first night, even the crickets had a different sound, and the birds too. At night some dogs were howling (not wild wolves) but I was too sleepy to listen to them very long. Even in the heat, I slept well on the crisply ironed linen sheets. The pillow cases embroidered around the edges.
That first morning, we ate breakfast in a little cafe in the town square of Impruneta, our new town for the next year. Croissants and cappuccinos’ with the old men of the village sitting around us. After, we shopped at the grocery store for supplies.
It’s amazing to see a place through children’s eyes, and my children are amazed at the sense of history around us. Ancient stone walls, shutters on every window, olive trees, and the musical sound of Italian were not part of their world understanding, up until now.
We have been here a week, and I can already feel that the pace of life is slower here. The internet is unreliable. Our television has a couple of channels, but except for watching the Palio in Sienna (knights on horses!), it has been kept off, unplugged. The washing machine takes two hours to cycle through, and there is no dryer - just the Tuscan sunshine. And when the washing machine and the dishwasher are on together, the electricity goes off. Slow down — better to do one thing at a time.
Most of life is new, but we have discovered some old favorites in the old world. Maple syrup from Canada, for one. And I found a yummy pancake recipe online. I don’t have any measurement cups, but a coffee cup works just as well.
The coffee is delicious (of course), and also to be savored instead of chugged down, because the coffee maker only makes two cups at a time. So if you wish for more, you must pack in the coffee grounds, put back on the stove, and wait for the water to boil again.
Below is the view from my writing desk, where I sip my coffee (slowly). it’s nice to be here.
Homemaking with Dr. Bateson
A quote from Penelope Green’s New York Times article about Dr. Mary Catherine Bateson and Homemaking, click here to read the entire article.
“In Dr. Bateson’s parlance, homemaking is not so much about decoration and renovation. Rather, it’s a metaphor for community, for the design of an environment — professional or domestic or societal — that challenges and supports its inhabitants, an ideal closer to the arrangement of a Samoan village than a perfectly appointed living room. “It’s critical that home not just be a place that you use whatever is there, but that it be a place you are truly responsible for,” she said. “It’s not just your home and you get to mess it up.”
Reading about Home with Meghan Daum
I just finished reading Meghan Daum’s latest book Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived In That House. It is funny and poignant look at her efforts to find happiness through moving and decorating and renovating. She moves from New York City, to Nebraska, to LA, back to Nebraska, and back to LA as she searches for a place to call home. A lot of generation X-ers and others too have moved a lot, both as children and as adults. I did a quick count of the houses I have lived in from birth onward and have come up with 22, and I am missing a few — even as I write I am still counting upwards.
This kind of rootlessness, restlessness and wanderlust that can be both exhilarating and deepening, as well as debilitating.
Meghan spent her early childhood in Austin (Keep Austin Wierd) and was sad to leave it for the suburban paradise of Ridgewood NJ. My own wanderings touch upon hers here and there. I grew up very near Ridgewood in Rockland County, NY — a suburb of New York City that manages to be both gritty and lovely at the same time. We both stopped of for years in New York City and then here I am in Austin. She’s in LA.
Its a good book. And she tells us what we all know, but it’s good to hear again: it’s not about the perfect knob from Anthropologie or the perfect paint color; home is where the heart is.
Seeking Home: Real Estate Ads and Drive-By Glimpses
When I was little, exploring the nation with my peripatetic mother, I used to gaze at all the houses as we passed by and imagine living in each of them. It was a favorite past time, imagining home.
In addition to my mother’s wanderings, a by-product of joint custody is multiple homes: mom’s home (s), dad’s home (s), and of course, the grandparent’s homes. So I was often in the position of experiencing a new home, making a home, adjusting to a new place.
By the time I was in middle school, we had settled down a little, though of course the flying between Florida (dad) and New York (mom) continued — in fact I was so at home in the skies I dreamed of being a stewardess, that’s what they called it back then. I guess I never saw a female pilot, because that thought didn’t even crossed my mind, not for a minute. By the way, I loved turbulence. I thought it was fun. I don’t feel that way anymore.
At any rate, settled in New York State, I was now a resident of homes in both Florida and New York, and my obsession with homes took on a new angle: a deep interest in the real estate section of the NY Times. We were living about 20 miles from NYC, and I guess the real estate obsession of that city wafted out to the suburbs and engulfed me.
For hours I would study the lists of apartments for sale and rentals too, like a gambler with her racing sheets getting ready to bet on the horses. It was with that kind of intensity. And I would pause at each classified ad and imagine life as it might be in the “Greenwich Village Brownstone” or the “Park Slope Studio.”
Contemplating all sorts of different kinds of homes and the meaning of home itself, continues to be a favorite past time. That’s one reason I wrote Making a Family Home.
The internet is a great place to explore other homes without leaving home. Blogs, real estate sites, newspapers online — all these offer articles and chances to enter into the homes and the lives of other people, and to try them on for size.
Recent articles about various homes that have been interesting, include an article in the NY Times about living in a Yurt, and a Wall Street Journal article titled Green Acres is the Place to Be. The Real Estalker is the People Magazine of online blogs, focused on celebrity homes for sale. Apartment Therapy is fun to read. Across the pond, The UK’s Time’s Online has an interesting property site with good articles.
I would love to know your favorite blogs and sites for exploring how people live and the homes they live in! Please email me directly with your suggestions, or leave a comment. Also, I am always interested in intriguing living situations, and that means your situation and home, because, believe me, it is always interesting. Even if you don’t live in a yurt.
Learning How to Make a Home — a Couple of Books
In the January 4-11 2010 edition of New York magazine, actress Maggie Gyllenhaal talks about life as an actress, home-maker ( a four-story brownstone in Brooklyn) and mother (of a three-year-old girl). She mentions that she’s reading Home Comforts, the Art and Science of Keeping House, by Cheryl Mendelson, to figure out how to keep house.
It’s a good book — one of those thick and comprehensive manuals that fills in for Grandma when Grandma is not around. From “How to Make Hot Chocolate” (add a pinch of salt) to “How to Turn Down a Bed” (with a diagonal fold), it’s got a lot of information. It’s also got some amusing chapter headings, such as “The Cave of Nakedness” and “Peaceful Coexistence with Microbes.”
Martha Stewart’s housekeeping book, “Homekeeping Handbook,” is a similar tome. With lists and photographs, Martha teaches about forks and window washing.
My grandmother was a master at getting stains out, but she is no longer living, and when she was alive, I did not live near her and unfortunately will not carry on her stain mastery (my children’s clothes are proof that this wisdom is lost on me).
Many of us in the U.S. do not live near our mothers or our grandmothers. We left the nest and the hometown long ago, spent our 20′s and part of our 30′s in college, traveling around, pursuing careers, and now we come to motherhood and homemaking with little preparation.
And so, faced with raising a family and keeping house, some of us feel at a loss. Books such as these do help — they are great for when Grandma is not around and you need practical advice such as the best way to get spaghetti out of a shirt.
What are your favorite homemaking resources?
Happy New Year! Ten Tips for Slowing Down at Home in 2010
Raising your child and making a family home in a mindful way is all about slowing down. Even in our high-tech times, it is possible to create a home that is a calming antidote to our fast-paced, stressed out lives.
In that spirit, ten tips for a slow home, 2010:
1. Forgive yourself and find joy
Parenting can be hard sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up. Let go of the idea of “success” in parenting. Enjoy the journey. Let go of guilt. Our children recognize and benefit from our struggles. Laugh!!
2. Time and attention equals love — bring both these aspects to your home and your family
Spend time together. Turn off the TV and the cell phone. Cuddle up and read. Play in the park. Listen. Make your rooms comfortable and inviting by adding a soft blanket to a couch, placing a basket of children’s books by the chair. Paying attention to another person and showing your interest is a way to express your love.
3. Be mindful and conscious of the choices you make for your family and home
Consider your purchases — do they add to your family life or to your home in a meaningful way? The same goes for activities — don’t fill up the schedule just to keep busy. Often paring down and cutting back is what we really need to do. Keep it simple.
4. Nurture yourself
Parents can lose themselves to all the needs and responsibilities inherent in family life. Take care of yourself. Take a long bath. Meditate. Have fun. Paint a picture. Knit. Read a good book. Take a walk.
5. Ease loneliness and isolation by reaching out to others
Create community. Bake bread for a neighbor. Host a potluck. Be a regular at the local farmer’s market or co-op and shop local.
6. Outside areas are part of the home too — the backyard, the front porch — incorporate the outdoors into your family routine through play time and gardening.
It’s easy to become divorced from nature and natural processes. Reconnect. To start, plant herbs and flowers with your children — an easy way to begin to garden.
7. Make something with your own hands, and help your children to make something
Intuitively we know that something that is handmade is more valuable than something machine-made, and often we pay extra for the added value. So instead of buying something, make it: a birthday card, cookies. It doesn’t have to be hard and the benefits are great, including fostering a feeling of self-reliance and a sense of confidence in yourself and in your children.
8. Bring peace to your home by establishing rhythms and routines
One way to meet the challenges of parenting — the chaotic mornings trying to get everybody to school, the difficult bedtime when everyone is tired and cranky – is to develop routines that support healthy family living. For example, make lunches the night before to free up the busy mornings, and set the table the night before as well. For bedtime, develop a routine and stick to it. You’ll find that once children know what to expect, getting them under the covers becomes much easier.
9. Learn new ways to deal with conflict
In family life, conflict is inevitable. One way to deal with children that are fighting with each other is to redirect their attention away from the problem. For example, if they are fighting over a toy, offer one children a different toy, or switch gears entirely — play a game together or ask one or both of them to help you in the kitchen.
10. Nurture the senses
Every room in the home offers a sensual experience. Pay attention to the senses at home — light beeswax candle for their sweet honey scent, incorporate various textures into the bedroom, for a varied touch — silk, wool, cotton. Vary the colors in the rooms for a pleasing visual effect.
Happy New Year!
To Nest: Raquel C.
Raquel lives in a suburb of Los Angeles called Whittier with her partner and her daughter Annabella, 16 months. Her son Jackson, 18, is away at college. Whittier is one of those pockets of LA with a quaint uptown, brick lined streets, boutique shops and a lot of history. They’ve lived there for 3 and 1/2 years.
List three words to describe your home.
Comfortable, earthy, tranquil
What is your favorite room, and why?
That’s a tough one – I love almost every room in the house! First I’d have to say the kitchen because we completely renovated it from the ground up so everything in there is a reflection of our personality and tastes. I love looking at the kitchen from another room – it makes me smile. The living room is another favorite even though it’s small – Anabella and I sit on the couch and look out the window at the garbage trucks on Thursdays. I can see the kitchen and the dining room from there, which is probably another reason why I like it so much. I also love Anabella’s room – we play or read books in there. I love the Pali pieces – they’re so regal. I could go through the entire house and tell you why I love each room!
What is your favorite item and why?
I have to say my Mac laptop. Not only because it’s what keeps me in touch with the rest of the world but because my whole life is in there from photos to screenplays, poems and first chapters of the novel I’m writing. I also love to buy online. Of course it’s now an item I can mostly only use when Anabella is napping – so it’s become an item I love that’s become cherished because of the limited time I have with it.
My favorite household item would be my Cuisinart Smartstick (hand blender) I use it almost everyday since Anabella still prefers most of her vegetables blended. It’s so easy to use and clean.
To Nest: Ariana F.
Ariana F. lives in Rockland County NY, a suburb of NYC, with her husband and son, who is 15 months old. She grew up there, left for many years and returned three years ago.
List three words to describe your home:
Cottage, Cozy, Peaceful
What is your favorite room?
My favorite room by far is my son’s nursery. I love the monkey in the tree mural my husband painted on the wall and the soothing sky blue color. Plus it’s the warmest and coziest room in the house.
What is your favorite item?
My favorite item is my camera! Getting a DSLR camera right before my son’s birth reignited my love of photography. It is now one of my main creative outlets.
What is your favorite color for your home?
I don’t have a favorite color, I do have favorite color combinations like gray/silver and buttercup gold. My house has a lot of blues and sea greens in tribute to it’s roots as a summer cottage.
Describe your morning and evening routine.
My morning routine is chaos 
I have to make my son’s breakfast and lunch for daycare, get dressed, get him dressed, eat breakfast etc. all while he is running around eating snacks, pulling things out of cabinets and getting into everything he shouldn’t be getting into.
My evening routine is a bit more calm: feeding Jasper dinner, then bath, stories, nursing and bedtime. After he’s in bed my husband and I eat and
then I usually blog or edit photos.
Children in the Kitchen
It’s almost Thanksgiving, a time that many parents spend in the kitchen. For the occasion, some simple steps towards making the kitchen a child happy space
The kitchen is where food is transformed through cooking, where the rhythms and routines of the day and week are marked by the meals we make, where children are nourished by the food they eat and nurtured by the tasks they accomplish.
Children need healthy nourishment:
- Choose whole, unprocessed food when possible – fruits, vegetables, whole grains.
- Support local food and eat organically, eat seasonally and colorfully.
- Offer a variety of food at meal times, and don’t be discouraged by picky eaters, gently offer all sorts of possibilities without entering into a power struggle over food choices.
- We sometimes “eat through our eyes” –prepare meals which are aesthetically pleasing and fun!
- Encourage independence by having a shelf or drawer or basket filled with healthy snacks and fruits, so that the children can help themselves and learn about taking care of themselves.
That said, sometimes feeding children can be a real challenge! The thing that has helped me most is to be patient and consistent about offering a variety of food, not to get discouraged (easier said than done when no one will touch the ratatouille that took five hours to make–note to self: keep it simple), and not to get into a power struggle over food.
Include Children in Mealtime Tasks – preparation through clean up:
- Children love to cook and bake, and it is important for them to work and to feel they can contribute to the well-being of the family, and contributing helps children gain a sense of their own abilities, and a sense of self-reliance.
- Include children in the preparation, cooking, and in the cleanup of the meals.
- Have child-sized and child-friendly kitchen ware on hand: appropriate knives, cutting boards, graters.
- Keep pots and pans and other kitchen ware low and accessible, so that children can reach them for playing and for helping and for putting things away.
- Have a low stool by the kitchen sink for washing dishes.
- Have sponges and dish rags, in the child’s favorite color, readily available to make cleanup fun and purposeful.
It really helps me to have my children involved in meal times. And they like it too — nobody enjoys grating cheese more than my three-year old! Sometimes it does make things a little harder — water gets spilled, cheese gets everywhere, or I have to clean up again after they have cleaned up, but most of the time, it is worth it to have them engaged, involved, helping.
Children need rhythm and routine:
- Rhythm and routines give children a sense of security and stability – keep mealtimes regular and predictable.
- Develop a meal time routine, and assign certain tasks to each child: set the table, say grace, serve the meal, clear the table.
- If inspiration is an issue, or if you are in a rut, create a rotating weekly or monthly menu for which meals to make.
- Join with your friends and “share meals” – For ex., cook extra lasagna for a friend’s family one night, and receive a home cooked meal from them another night.
Keeping a regular schedule and having predictable routines helps children develop good habits, eases their transitions between activities, and gives them a feeling of security and confidence. That’s not to say that spontaneous moments have no place, last-minute picnics in the park can be a lot of fun!
Happy Thanksgiving!