Raising your child and making a family home in a mindful way is all about slowing down.  Even in our high-tech times, it is possible to create a home that is a calming antidote to our fast-paced, stressed out lives.

In that spirit, ten tips for a slow home, 2010:

1.  Forgive yourself and find joy

Parenting can be hard sometimes.  Don’t beat yourself up.  Let go of the idea of “success” in parenting.  Enjoy the journey.  Let go of guilt.  Our children recognize and benefit from our struggles.  Laugh!!

2.  Time and attention equals love — bring both these aspects to your home and your family

Spend time together.  Turn off the TV and the cell phone.  Cuddle up and read.  Play in the park.  Listen.  Make your rooms comfortable and inviting by adding a soft blanket to a couch, placing a  basket of children’s books by the chair.  Paying attention to another person and showing your interest is a way to express your love.

3.  Be mindful and conscious of the choices you make for your family and home

Consider your purchases — do they add to your family life or to your home in a meaningful way?  The same goes for activities — don’t fill up the schedule just to keep busy.  Often paring down and cutting back is what we really need to do.  Keep it simple.

4.  Nurture yourself

Parents can lose themselves to all the needs and responsibilities inherent in family life.  Take care of yourself.  Take a long bath.  Meditate.  Have fun.  Paint a picture. Knit.   Read a good book.  Take a walk.

5.  Ease loneliness and isolation by reaching out to others

Create community. Bake bread for a neighbor.  Host a potluck.  Be  a regular at the local farmer’s market or co-op and shop local.

6.  Outside areas are part of the home too — the backyard, the front porch — incorporate the outdoors into your family routine through play time and gardening.

It’s easy to become divorced from nature and natural processes.  Reconnect.  To start, plant herbs and flowers with your children — an easy way to begin to garden.

7.  Make something with your own hands, and help your children to make something

Intuitively we know that something that is handmade is more valuable than something machine-made, and often we pay extra for the added value.  So instead of buying something, make it:  a birthday card, cookies.  It doesn’t have to be hard and the benefits are great, including fostering a feeling of self-reliance and a sense of confidence in yourself and in your children.

8.  Bring peace to your home by establishing rhythms and routines

One way to meet the challenges of parenting — the chaotic mornings trying to get everybody to school, the difficult bedtime when everyone is tired and cranky –  is to develop routines that support healthy family living.  For example, make lunches the night before to free up the busy mornings, and set the table the night before as well.  For bedtime, develop a routine and stick to it.  You’ll find that once children know what to expect, getting them under the covers becomes much easier.

9.  Learn new ways to deal with conflict

In family life, conflict is inevitable.  One way to deal with children that are fighting with each other is to redirect their attention away from the problem.  For example, if they are fighting over a toy, offer one children a different toy, or switch gears entirely — play a game together or ask one or both of them to help you in the kitchen.

10.  Nurture the senses

Every room in the home offers a sensual experience.  Pay attention to the senses at home — light beeswax candle for their sweet honey scent, incorporate various textures into the bedroom, for a varied touch — silk, wool, cotton.  Vary the colors in the rooms for a pleasing visual effect.

Happy New Year!